“People in general are basically stupid” – George Carlin
Well, kids, the election has been over for a week now, and thank Christ for that. The votes have been cast, the recount completed, and the official results show that Eddie “I’m Rich, Beeyotch” Calvo and Ray “Dumber than Dogshit” Tenorio have won over Carl “Guam’s Ferdinand Marcos” Guiterrez and Frank “Mr. Arrogance” Aguon in the races for Governor and Lieutenant Governor.
Not much has been made of the elections for the senatorial slots or the attorney general or any other office that was up for the vote. Apparently all of the candidates who were involved felt that the election was fair, that “the people have spoken”, and they don’t seem to have too much to grumble about. I’ve heard nothing about a senatorial candidate bitching about anything involving the process being flawed or tainted in any way. If they lost, they took it in stride and went about doing whatever the hell it was they were doing before Temporary Insanity struck and they decided to run for public office.
Of course, the losing candidate for Governor, our dear “Uncle Carl” Guiterrez believes that he was screwed over badly. Claims of election fraud, mishandled votes, improper procedures, and anything else he and his “weasel boy” running mate can think of have started to come up. Neither one of these individuals will “go quietly into the good night” as Shakespeare said. No, the whining and complaining has only now just started. They thought that the recount would solve the problem, that by relooking at the ballots they would be able to squeeze victory out of defeat. Since they still lost in the recount, the Weirdness will take on a completely different level. Rest assured, my fellow citizens, I have the feeling that the Bad Craziness has only just now started. Guiterrez will not simply fade away, and we’ll have to put up with his happy ass for a long time to come, maybe forever.
The Guam Election Commission also lent to this with its own share of Dumbness by having members of the Commission “off island” during the days immediately following the election. They should have realized that no matter what the results of the election were, someone would cry murder and throw an electoral equivalent of a hissy fit. All of the members should have had their asses here and available until everything was done, with nothing short of Emergency Ass Surgery keeping them away from the process until it was all over.
We now have to wait and see what the Governor-Elect and Mr. Quayle (sorry, I meant Mr. Tenorio, but you can understand why a brother would be confused) are gonna do to the island. Notice I said “DO TO” and not “do for” the island. They will appoint a “transition team” and insure that they can appoint “trusted team members” to jobs where they can help their own kind (meaning the wealthy business owners of Guam, those giants of industry, as it were).
I think that once he’s sworn in, we will all once again be in the midst of another BOHICA Moment courtesy of our Beloved Governor. If you think our trusted public servants were screwing us before, just wait and see what happens during the Reign of Calvo.
Stock up on the KY lube and the whiskey, and get ready for the fun to begin, because it’s coming.
(BOHICA, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, is an acronym meaning “Bend Over, Here It Comes Again”).
Well, kids, the election has been over for a week now, and thank Christ for that. The votes have been cast, the recount completed, and the official results show that Eddie “I’m Rich, Beeyotch” Calvo and Ray “Dumber than Dogshit” Tenorio have won over Carl “Guam’s Ferdinand Marcos” Guiterrez and Frank “Mr. Arrogance” Aguon in the races for Governor and Lieutenant Governor.
Not much has been made of the elections for the senatorial slots or the attorney general or any other office that was up for the vote. Apparently all of the candidates who were involved felt that the election was fair, that “the people have spoken”, and they don’t seem to have too much to grumble about. I’ve heard nothing about a senatorial candidate bitching about anything involving the process being flawed or tainted in any way. If they lost, they took it in stride and went about doing whatever the hell it was they were doing before Temporary Insanity struck and they decided to run for public office.
Of course, the losing candidate for Governor, our dear “Uncle Carl” Guiterrez believes that he was screwed over badly. Claims of election fraud, mishandled votes, improper procedures, and anything else he and his “weasel boy” running mate can think of have started to come up. Neither one of these individuals will “go quietly into the good night” as Shakespeare said. No, the whining and complaining has only now just started. They thought that the recount would solve the problem, that by relooking at the ballots they would be able to squeeze victory out of defeat. Since they still lost in the recount, the Weirdness will take on a completely different level. Rest assured, my fellow citizens, I have the feeling that the Bad Craziness has only just now started. Guiterrez will not simply fade away, and we’ll have to put up with his happy ass for a long time to come, maybe forever.
The Guam Election Commission also lent to this with its own share of Dumbness by having members of the Commission “off island” during the days immediately following the election. They should have realized that no matter what the results of the election were, someone would cry murder and throw an electoral equivalent of a hissy fit. All of the members should have had their asses here and available until everything was done, with nothing short of Emergency Ass Surgery keeping them away from the process until it was all over.
We now have to wait and see what the Governor-Elect and Mr. Quayle (sorry, I meant Mr. Tenorio, but you can understand why a brother would be confused) are gonna do to the island. Notice I said “DO TO” and not “do for” the island. They will appoint a “transition team” and insure that they can appoint “trusted team members” to jobs where they can help their own kind (meaning the wealthy business owners of Guam, those giants of industry, as it were).
I think that once he’s sworn in, we will all once again be in the midst of another BOHICA Moment courtesy of our Beloved Governor. If you think our trusted public servants were screwing us before, just wait and see what happens during the Reign of Calvo.
Stock up on the KY lube and the whiskey, and get ready for the fun to begin, because it’s coming.
(BOHICA, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, is an acronym meaning “Bend Over, Here It Comes Again”).
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