Monday, October 18, 2010

Elections, Welfare Weirdness, and Shitty Driving


Notes and observations from here in the heart of Hagatna, from what we affectionately call The Guam Desk………………..

As the general election draws near here on Guam, the race for governor has been getting uglier and uglier every day. Both the Calvo/Tenorio and Gutierrez/Aguon campaigns are really slamming each other hard in the media, especially in the newspapers. It’s at the point where it’s getting very personal and very ugly. The latest bout had the Gutierrez/Aguon campaign slamming Tenorio for allegedly failing to pay child support for his five kids. I have to ask, what’s next? Are the candidates going to start talking about each others mothers? “Yo mamma is so ugly…..”.

I’ve also heard some interesting stories about former governor Uncle Carl Gutierrez from longtime residents here. While I don’t normally pay a lot of attention to rumors, when you hear the same stories from different people, there has to be a kernel of truth to all of it.

Here’s how I see the gubernatorial election in a nutshell. Both sides have spent a ton of money on the campaign, in the hope that they get elected to a job where they can rape the island, and steal as much as possible. There are no real reasons to spend what these guys have spent to get elected unless they expect to cash out big-time once they get into office. That’s not me being my usual cynical self; that, my friends is the reality of the situation.

Somebody’s going to get rich, and the rest of us will continue to be screwed by the system. It’s not exactly Ferdinand Marcos in the Philippines, but it’ll be pretty damn close, minus the martial law. I won’t be voting for either one of these idiots.

+++++

I was in line behind him at the grocery store last night. He had loaded a bunch of shit on the counter, mostly junk food, snacks and crap, nothing vaguely looking like nutritious food items. As he waited in line, he farted around with what appeared to be a nearly-new smart phone, playing what appeared to be some sort of video game. He paid for his purchases, nearly $100 worth, with a QWEST card, meaning welfare had purchased his snack items. As the situation would have it, it turned out that the same guy was parked two slots down from me in the parking lot, walking a few steps ahead of me out of the store. Again, I noticed him, because he piled the stuff he had just purchased into a nearly new Ford pickup, the deluxe model, with all the bells and whistles. A serious machine that I knew for a fact could not be purchased for less than $30,000.

Something is SERIOUSLY WRONG with that scenario, and it would read as interesting fiction if it weren’t true. The guy has a far better car than I do, a better phone, but buys his groceries with welfare. This, to me, is more than a little fucked up. He has money for a serious vehicle and a kick ass phone, but somehow qualifies to buy food with welfare. Then again, it’s pretty much standard operating procedure on this island, where those of us who don’t get welfare or food stamps make do with the high food prices and avoid the stores on the first of the month (when the new food stamps go into effect).

+++++

The wife and I had a long discussion the other day concerning driving on Guam, and the lack of skill behind the wheel that a majority of the folks have. In the end, we both came to the same conclusion. It’s as if someone took all of the shitty drivers from Korea, the Philippines, China, and Japan, threw them all on the island, gave them cars, and said “Have at it”. My road rage is something that I have to work at to control, because it’s hard not to scream at people who go well beyond stupid at times. If you happen to be driving horribly and hear someone screaming “Figure it out, motherfucker”, it’s probably me.

These are just some of the thoughts that cross my mind or events that have happened as I do the day-to-day here on the beautiful island of Guam.

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